Valley of the Sun - 50 Fathoms

The Drapes of Wrath
Benny-eligible quotes from 4-17

A follow-up comment from Seratos on the “Humans taste bad.” controversy was “Not if you use enough of the right sauce…”

Zombies were attacking the crew, and Gronk was defending them. Burke/Anne, “Zombies want to eat brains. They should choose a different target besides Gronk.”

Risa/KJ, “I don’t have much of an exoskeleton.”
Bentley, “No bones about it!”

Upon seeing the impressive scenery layout for the mission Dan commented, “Welcome to Castle Anthrax!” and “This doesn’t look at all like a trap.”

Foy gets credits for starting the a whole comment section when animated draperies attacked Gronk, “It’s curtains for Gronk!”

Later, as McCloud struggled against more of the castle’s furnishings he declared, “In this adventure I have killed a sheet.”

Still later, it was revealed (by Foy playing an Adventure Card) that McCloud’s sworn enemies were the draperies that had engulfed him and Dan declared, “Looks like it’s curtains for McCloud now!”

Barry contributed, “My name is Scottish Green Tartan, prepare to be dyed!”

Kraken Jack was attacked by the library volumes and Dan/Seratos said “Look out, Kraken Jack, he’s gonna throw the book at you!”

Seratos snuck into a secret corridor where he was confronted by an Earth Elemental and said, “Time for a soil test!”

In the chapel, shattered shards of stained glass attacked us, and Dan said, “Glass people should not throw stones in this house.”

Risa/KJ commenting on yet another scheme for dealing with the animated tables and chairs, “That WOOD have been a great plan.”

With quiet grace as usual....
Crab Man becomes Rain Man "I gotta system!"-Seratos

Bennie quotes from 4-3

Dan, “Yes, everybody gets to take a turn as the Tower of Death.”

After vanquishing the Inquisitor, we make haste to install his mighty cannons on board our ship, with two characters highly interested and Dan declares, “Seratos and McCloud are both gun nuts.” Burke/Anne quips “ Or both just nuts!” So the working title of our new ship becomes “Chock Full O’ Nuts.”

When Captain Anne realizes that they STILL have to get a sample of elemental air from the top of the Coaker Mountains she does her best Yosemite Sam impression yet. “WHAT! Riggin’ raggin’ friggin’AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!” The crew will be refinishing the deck for weeks…

Bentley has more good news, “Meanwhile, Carifax is with you …” (interrupted by loud groans from the players!)

Bentley describes a beast as, “It looks like a little mountain lion, only bigger.”

Burke/Anne, “Seratos says it looks really strange, and he owns a mirror.”

Gronk quietly confides to McCloud, “Humans taste Bad.”

Foy/McCloud, “I can fix that!”

Alex, I'll take gambling at sea for $29,000 please

Quote of the week:
Burke / Anne in reference to McCloud (Foy) as he buries an axe into Torquemada, the Grand Inquisitor’s chest: “What does your religion say about carpenters?”

With great stealth (unlike other attempts which will not be named) the crew reclaimed “their” Kieran Cutter. Off to the Coaker Mountains they sailed, where they encountered a Hill Giant and bottled up an Air Elemental. They found the remains of Edward Low, minus one nose, and headed back to sea.

Not far from Brigandy Bay, they ran into Captain Bartholomew Briggs on The Scrumptious and Captain Stephan Everson on The Ruby. After some pleasantries, Captain Lancelot Skynner arrived not knowing Captain Annebelle “Black Anne” Noire was there with her crew. A Sea Tourney was had and our crew finished with deeper pockets and added the HMS Lutine to their fleet. Captain Skynner was revealed as undead, and having found release from his quest to find Anne, returned to the afterlife. What adventure lies ahead? Sail on to find out!

Kraken Jack in the Box

The crew fought valiantly, dispatching the evil Inquisitor Torquemada and were successful in their bid to free Kraken Jack. Alas, fate was not on the side of poor Tressa the Red, now dead. But she did not die in vain as her heart will serve a valuable asset in the battle against the sea hags. Tell that to Carifax! A battle that looms ever nearer. What fate awaits the crew next? Sail on to find out!

Torquemada, we hardly knew ye (but we're SO glad yer dead!)
Everybody totally expects the Spanish Inquisition

Bennie quotes from last week:

McCloud to Torquemada (as he buries an axe into the Grand Inquisitor’s chest), “What does your religion say about carpenters?”

Kraken Jack ominously intones, “I’ll be back!”

Bentley talking to Risa, “You killed Torquemada!”
Kraken Jack/Risa, “No, not really. I wish I had. May killed him”

Seratos/Dan, “That tower of Death is me!”

Seratos, “May, go help McCloud.”
McCloud, “I can take care of myself!”
Seratos, “May can do it better!”

Bentley advises McCloud to, “Fill Seratos’ (bleeding) holes with nails.” (McCloud has great Repair, but not so much Healing skill.)

The lone survivor on the Grand Inquisor’s ship says to Gronk, “Get off my ship!” That is, of course, the LAST thing he ever says. I believe Gronk’s response was probably, “Creme Brulee!”

Hey Hey Hey
Bennies shatter the 4th wall

Bennie stuff

Bentley is putting the figures onto the map. Dan says in his best fake-announcer voice, “Now we have our first contestants for “The Wounding Game”.” And starts humming the theme to “The Dating Game”. Bentley quips, “They always choose to take the consequences of “Truth or Consequences”!”

Continuing the RPGame show madness, Burke says, “I vote for the sponge!”

Later, a cunningly disguised McCloud is creeping around in a stolen guard’s uniform. Stealth and subtlety are of the utmost importance. So he loudly shouts to us, “Hey guys, it’s safe!”

Gronk crashes through a wall and the entire group does a Fat Albert impression, “Hey-Hey-Hey!”

With the group suddenly surrounded by armed crossbowmen, the quick thinking (and still disguised as a guard) McCloud says, “Thank goodness you guys got here!”

Doctor Doctor give me the news...

Quote of the game:
NPC Merchant/Bentley, “Are you threatening me?”
May/Evee (with no visible weaponry, hoping her reputation is fearsome enough), “Possibly”.

Our crew fought their way into the compound thought to hold Dr. Livesey. With a quick change of uniform, William McCloud (aka Bob) marched through the library into the underground compound and freed the good doctor with the support of hiis shipmates. Alas, the crew was betrayed by Chef Grath and was sentenced by Emperor Jannis Jant himself to a lifetime of hard labor in the Coaker Mountains- except for Kraken Jack, who was turned over to the Inquisitor. Resourceful bargaining paid off however and the rest of crew was able to escape. With little time to savor victory, Carifax arrived with the news that Tressa the Red had been captured by the Inquisitor. Will Kraken Jack and the Tressa survive the Inquisitor’s mad wrath? Will the crew reclaim their prized Kieran Cutter? Sail on to find out!

Belated Benny Quotes
better late than never!

Belated Benny Quotes

Sorry for the extreme lateness. I did write the quotes down last week, I just couldn’t find where I had them!

Kracken Jack/Risa, “I need something to help me in a sticky situation.”
Anne/Burke, “Like a wet sponge?”

Seratos/Dan to May/Evee, “Offer to trade him the figurine (you just stole from him) for the telescope.”

Seratos/Dan wants to get in on the captaincy bid for new crew, “I promise 50% more lashings!”

Kracken Jack/Risa declares, “I do not wear used items!” (and then murmurs) “Unless they’re magical.”

Israel Hands “What did I do?”
Kracken Jack/Risa, “You wrote on all our balls!” (cannon balls)

Israel Hands, “So my life may depend on my answer?”
Anne/Burke, “No.”
Kracken Jack/Risa, “Yes!”

Kracken Jack/Risa, “No more playing around with our balls!”

May/Evee (trying to cut a deal with a reluctant merchant), “These aren’t just goods, they’re greats!”

NPC Merchant/Bentley, “Are you threatening me?”
May/Evee (with no visible weaponry, hoping her reputation is fearsome enough), “Possibly”.

The Good Ol' days - back in Keira
The Crew pays a house call on Dr. Livesey

Our crew made port in Brigandy Bay where they picked up a ghost hunter map and filched a talisman from the underground black market. On to Kiera they sailed and learned of crewman Israel Hands and his link to Flint’s treasure. With some creative bargaining, the crew made way up to the third terrace, where Gronk and Seratos excelled in the gladiatorial arena. They scouted the compound thought to house Dr. Livesey and were detected despite valiant efforts. Will they rescue Dr. Livesey? Will they escape alive? Sail on to find out!

Quote spoiler alert
Anne and the crew get some...

Anne/Burke (who by now should have quite a reputation) “I killed Blackbeard and all I got was this nice coat!”

Azy Angsley/Bentley (looking at the current form of Seratos) “What happened to your dog?”

McCloud/Foy, after finding an icy corpse in bridal veil along with her dowry, “Is that what you call cold cash?”

Anne/Burke, bidding adieu to the “Invincible”, leaving behind the frozen bride of her captain and the cursed vessel itself, “Que sera, sera”.

Seratos/Dan (in yet another exasperated response to his mutating form), " I don’t wanna look like me!”


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