Valley of the Sun - 50 Fathoms

Scaratos and the Island of Dr. Marko

The crew survived the rose labyrinth and had no difficulty dealing with the Minotaur. Across lava bridge they encountered Dr. Nicholas Marko and his aide Alexandros. With the covert aid of Alexandros, they overcame the maniacal doctor and learned of his wife Lydia and their twisted past, but not before Seratos underwent the experimental transfiguration process. With the lava they sought now in hand, will they escape the erupting volcano and the heinous lava-blood fiend? Sail on to find out!

Quotes of the week 12/13/15
Spiderpig, spiderham. Does whatever a spider can!

Quotes eligible for a Benny from 12-13-15

Dan/Seratos, “It’s Mount Hockaloogie!”
Barry/Gronk, “Gronk will free the prisoner (trapped pig) because he likes ham.”
On the fact that Gronk no longer has his Grael Battle Balls, Dan says, “Gronk went to the vet to get tutored.”
Barry/Gronk attacks the spider attacking the pig, “That’s MY dinner!”
Foy/McLeod tries using an axe to cut the spiders off his arm, with mixed results, “Hey, their blood is red just like mine! Oh…”
Dan says “Gronk puts on his football helmet and hits the spiders with the pigskin!”
When Seratos fails to cut through an immense spiderweb he is trapped in, both Burke and Foy (in falsetto) cry, “Help me!”
Dan says (speaking for Kraken Jack), “I am too humble to admit how arrogant I am!”
Foy/Mcleod “McLeod will help her (K.J.)”
Risa/Kraken Jack (indignantly) “I’m not a HER!”
Foy/McLeod “Allright, Mcleod will help IT!”
Seratos is cocooned by the spiders. Dan says “Seratos has flashbacks to being back in the egg! I better break out so I can eat my brothers (and sisters) before they eat me!”
Risa/Kraken Jack, “I guess, as usual, I will have to finish this.” (then to Bentley) “Do I earn a Bennie for my Arrogant Hindrance?”
Risa/Kraken Jack “What’s that clicking noise?”
Burke/Anne “Your knees knocking!”
After taking out the spider’s second eye Risa/Kraken Jack says “Now we can call him “four-eyes”!

Quotes of the week 12/6/15
Voice of even temperament?!?

We sight a nameplate floating on the waves of the Pirate Sea. It reads “Lucky”. Micah/Nera quips “It must be from Admiral Duckworth’s ship – The Lucky Duck”!

We are informed from a thoroughly drunk Dr. Bones in Brigandy Bay that to find Captain Flint, we should look for “the Admiral”. Seratos puzzles over this rather ambiguous clue, “We don’t know for sure what this ‘Admiral’ is. It may be a person, or a place like a bar or brothel…” Foy/McLeod interrupts, “I volunteer to check out if it’s a brothel!”

Seemingly Dr.Bones does know something of the whereabouts of Captain Flint, but our captain has grave reservations about trying to take the good doctor aboard for help. Burke/Anne “We already have to deal with ONE drunk in our crew. Kracken Jack seems drunk on spell power all of the time!

Bentley describes the proprietor of the Alligator Pit, Augustus Davies, as resembling Colonel Sanders and Barry and Dan chorus “It’s Norm Macdonald!”

Bentley, commenting on the severely wounded condition of Rowdy, the alligator we were sent to capture for the Alligator Pit, “He looks like he needs Gatorade.”

Dan, upon hearing yet another awful (edit: awesome!) pun from Bentley, declares, “I’m not going to write that down!”

On the new menu at the Alligator Pit, “Kids Eaten Free!” group chorus.

Bentley titles a Cthulhu musical, “The King in Yellow and I”.

Barry/Gronk attempts to guide some severely lost Graels, “Gronk draws the direction to sail in chalk on the deck of the lost ship!”

Gronk has defeated a mighty megalodon and is wrestling with its largest tooth to take as a trophy. Seratos/Dan (ever the voice of reason and even temperament), “Gronk, are you sure you can handle the tooth?!”

The Good Ol' days - back at Torath Ka

Our heroes came face to face with Redbeard Rufus at last. With his treasure stolen by Flint, he let the crew go but demanded his treasure be recovered else there would be grave consequences. In search of Flint, the Poseidon sailed to Brigandy Bay. They met Augustus Davies and captured Rowdy, a well known alligator. At The Black Queen, they came across an old acquaintance “Doc” Bones. Despite his stupor, Doc was able to suggest the characters go to the Admiral in their quest to find Flint.

From there, they sailed to back to Torath Ka, where they encountered a Jinka Tahn. With solid team work and repair by William McCloud, they dispatched the creature and avoided running ashore. Leaving the relative safety of the beach and their ship, the crew headed into the jungle toward the volcano. What purpose could a mansion have there? Whose eyes were starring at them from the darkness of the jungle. Sail on to find out!
BBQ Fun on Rufus Island

Having survived Snake Island and their encounter with evil cultist Lydia, our heroes sailed on to Rufus Island, with all the golden triangles in hand at last! They braved their way into the fiery realm below and dispatched Mephits, Fire Elementals, and a flaming Phoenix. But alas, Redbeard Rufus lay waiting for the return of his treasure, apparently stolen by Flint. Will our heroes survive the wrath of Rufus? What fate awaits them? Sail on to find out!

Quotes of the week 11/15
Snakes and Rats and Bennies

Quotes eligible for a Benny from 11/15. Some I have added a contextual bit for some, some are just funny without it.
After being attacked by a swarm of rats. “I know what we’re gonna eat tonight—SWARMA!” Seratos.
“Risa’s terrain is like a box of chocolates.” Bentley.
“That’s what you call a Rat Race!” Bentley.
(Gronk will -) ”Wear the dead snakes like a feather BOA!” Burke and Dan in chorus.
“It’s a Gronkism, don’t think too hard about it or you’ll wind up like him.” Seratos.
Bentley to Nerah/Micah (in admiration) “You beat Seratos to looting the bodies!” “I was busy writing this quote list!” Dan
“You go first Gronk, that lady’s got candy.” Bentley.
Gronk’s hand puppets (dead snakes) #1: “They’ve left this chamber unguarded!” #2 “The fools!” Dan.
“Noooooo!” in exaggerated slow-motion by Micah.
Bentley “Hey, no jokers yet!” reply by Dan “Well there’s six of us here around the table already…”
Upon finding out we got to fight dozen or so Wild Cards with extra attacks, “They’re us, only better!” Dan.
Micah “Sorry about that Foy” Foy’s reply was “I’m going to the bathroom to cry!”
“Anne, you wanna pop that priest?” Seratos.
Bentley “You will receive support when we send flowers to your graves. Floral Support!”
Dan/Seratos “Since nobody’s next to me…” “McLeod is next to you!” “I meant nobody that’s a threat…”

Snake Island

Quote of the Week: In reference to an undead Kehana as an “Unholy Mackerel” -Bentley

The Poseidon left Swindon and landed on Snake Island. Braving swarms of rats and their serpent predators, the crew made way to the (nearly) abandoned lighthouse. In the catacomb below, they encountered the dark and mysterious Lydia once more, this time in the form of a Naga. With great Bravery, our heroes dispatched the Serpent warriors and their priests, driving Lydia back into the dark blood pool. Will the crew make it alive off of Snake Island? What connection could Lydia have to Blackbeard? Sail on to find out!

Quotes of the week 11/7
Worth a Benny!

Quotes of the week for Bentley’s 50 Fathoms game on 11/07:
Dealing with efforts to purge/repair the Destroyer “So we should take the damp ship to the DRY Dock!” Seratos/Dan
“We should be able to deal with the zombies in a sane and rational way…” Nera/Micah
“Gronk likes the idea of a Battle of Nutrition!” (Attrition) Gronk/Barry
“This is in Gronk’s wheelhouse” (area of expertise) Anne/Burke, the immediate reply by Seratos/Dan, “The entire SEA is Gronk’s wheelhouse!”
“Why do I feel like I’m a worm on a hook?” McLeod/Foy in a bad spot
Trying to describe an undead Kehana as “An Unholy Mackerel!” by Bentley
“Just like Seratos’ cooking, it never gets old but it sure smells BAD!” Anne/Burke
After several of the party have suffered wounds, Anne/Burke comments “Don’t worry, the mage/healer will be here next week (referring to Kracken Jack/Risa) when Seratos/Dan said “Hey! I’m RIGHT HERE!” the reply was “The COMPETENT one!” and Seratos/Dan grumbled “Well, okay, just to be clear…”

Destroyer Destroyed

Having dispatched Blackbeard, our heroes turned their attention to his ship The Destroyer. Bringing the Man of War to Swindon, they soon learned of the ship’s nefarious spirit. After a few hands with The Jack of Hearts, they dispatched the Seaweed Fiends and undead Kehana that were drawn to the unearthly vessel. What could the curious map of the serpent portend? What adventure lies ahead? Sail on to find out!

Gronk log - stinky goop

After the harrowing encounter with Blackbeard’s ship, all hands worked to ensure repairs were made and injuries tended. An unfortunate crewman was tasked by Gronk to get the “stinky goop” off of his “uniform”. Fairly new to the crew, the sailor was hesitant to correct the massive Grael (the “uniform” was a sarong made from a British Union Jack) but agreed to wash the garment. To his chagrin, Gronk immediately disrobed, handed the filthy flag to the sailor, and stood waiting in the buff for his “uniform” to be laundered. The nervous crewman tried to make small talk as he worked to clean Gronk’s sarong, in an attempt to distract himself from the awkward situation of a naked Grael looming over him while he was crouched at a washboard.

Gronk related the story of the battle from his point of view, and the crewman nodded at the lively retelling. The following summarizes Gronk’s view of the battle:

“We was sailing and it was good. Then we was smelling bad stuffs and the big ugly stinky Blackbeards ship was close. That was OK cause we had two ships and don’t like them, so we go to boarding. That stinky ship had ugly sailor zombies that were dumb. Gronk was mad about dumb Blackbeard ship shooting at our ships, so Gronk went to smash redumbdent zombies and smash the smelly ship. Captain Black Anne was mad too, and she wanted to kill Blackbeards face. The Blackbeards got mad cause Gronk was smashing his ship and zombies….broked the rudder real good, smashing zombie sailors lots…then Black Annes tells Gronk to throw Blackbeards off his ship cause she was madder mad. Gronk said OK and did that real good. Trying to squeeze Blackbeards guts out, but he gots loose, so Gronk decided to do more smashing. He got smashed real good and then all the stinky goop got all over. It is stinky and sticky…it doesn’t taste good either.”


I'm sorry, but we no longer support this web browser. Please upgrade your browser or install Chrome or Firefox to enjoy the full functionality of this site.