Valley of the Sun - 50 Fathoms

Quotes - A month ago

Evee – I spy something crabby… It’s captain anne
Burke – No… That’s sarratos
Evee – Wait… That’s Bentley humor
(Cuz sarratos is a crab)

Bentley – It’s the home of the grael
Burke – Home, Home on the grael (home on the range)

Burke – Bjork
Bentley – Bjork
Burke – Bjork
Bentley – Bjork
Burke – Bork, Bork, Bork (like Swedish chef)

Burke – So it’s a band of grael
Bentley – Yeah they play every Saturday night

Bentley – I would say Foy would have the ability… Well… McCloud would…
Evee – He decided that Foy would definitely not have that ability
Burke – Yeah… Foy would have the ability to stock the ship with vegetables
Evee – When Foy gets back next week he’s gonna get a Benny for being the butt of the joke… He’s not even here

Evee – His name is Zaggy… I feel like he should be running around saying zoinks and have a fish side kick who speaks broken English… Ruh roh
Bentley – Give him goldfish snacks

Quotes - sheep

Bentley – Do we need a ship?
Evee – No… He needs a Sheep

Bentley – We were in baltimus…
Cid – So?
Bentley – So do what you like.

Foy – You can’t bribe me! … I deserve more than that…

Bentley – Baltimus was a decent guy… He was out for himself
Evee – isn’t everybody?
Bentley – Says the thief…
Evee -  Exactly

Bentley – He took the ship… It’s a trophy ship…
Evee – A trophy ship… Like a trophy wife but actually useful

Bentley – So roll tracking
Evee – Do any of us have tracking?
Burke – No… We’re all seamen…
Evee – I’m not a seaman… Sea… Woman

Evee – Competence overtakes… Whatever you are (to Foy)


Bentley – You managed to take out the bad guys with your little water slap?
All – a water slap?

Foy – Captain think about our dowry…
Cid – I think I need to re-read the rules

Bentley – We had one of those… We raised it as a puppy (foo dog)
Evee – That seems… That seems…
Cid – Unlikely

Burke – We’re asking for a client
Evee – That makes us sound like ladies of the night
Burke – What you do in your own time is your business…
Evee – More like what he does
Burke – That’s why he wears a kilt
Evee – Easy scratching

Bentley – Do you see these eyes
Cid – I’m trying not to… Its difficult they’re everywhere…

Bentley – Do you need an animal companion
Evee – Well western McCloud had sparkleface this one should have
Burke – Sheep… He is Scottish. A sheep named Angus

A man and his snakes - quotes

Quotes: 9/2/18

Burke – Do you want to touch my snake staff?
Evee – Er… No… I don’t

Foy – I’m gonna walk up to her
Evee – He’s got his own Barry White music playing
Bentley – It’s like that show…
Cid – To catch a predator?

Burke – Let me guess…
Evee – They drugged him…
Foy – They Bill Cosby’d me… Hey hey hey

Foy – I’m not going to be at the front of the pack…
Evee – Do you have coward as a hindrance?
Foy – No
Burke – You should…

Foy – Do you need snakes? I’ve got snakes…
Burke – No Foy… We don’t want him to have more snakes
Foy – Oh why not?
Burke – He’s got enough snakes

Bentley – This guy’s going to un
Evee – Un-snake?

Bentley – Spit comes from the staff
Evee – His snake spit at you…
Burke – McCloud’s on board… We’re used to that

Bentley – Steal from the rich, take from the poor
Evee – Yeah! Wait… No I meant yeah… I could steal from the rich and keep from the poor… I’m poor
Foy – Poor in judgment

May's Escape

(It is kind of long, but I thought it would be fun to write out in detail how May escaped her home in Kiera)

Darkness engulfed the alleyway that the young female sleuthed down, pausing at any sign of movement that might get her caught. The wind rattled a few empty cans that lay at the base of a nearby trash can. The dark hood of the black cloak wrapped around her frame rustling a bit, the faintest bit of light revealed the soft purple skin beneath. A few seconds passed before another sound was heard, the rhythmic sound of shoes hitting the pavement. The hairs on the back of her neck stood and her stomach churned, while her heart began to race and she whipped around. In an instant her daggers were in her hand, waiting as the footprints drew closer, ready to strike. Another moment passed before the sound stopped. The light of the moon above was only just enough to form a sillouette a few feet from her. Her eyes gleemed dangerously as she moved to dispose of whoever had the misfortune of finding her

“Ohh… I wouldn’t do that… May” came the soft deep familiar voice. Stopping short, she felt her eyes widen, a shot of fear coursing her veins. May took a single moment to re-examine her surroundings, before she bolted towards the only exit. She only made it a few feet, however, before the outlines of two men stepped around the wall, blocking her escape. She slid to a halt and began looking around, feeling somewhat frantic. The outline of the man behind her moved and was behind her in an instant, wrapping his arms around her, smartly pinning her own so that she couldn’t use the daggers she still held “I finally found you” he whispered in her ear “and you won’t escape me again” he hissed menacingly.

May tried to pull away from him, but he held tight and she squirmed turning her head away from his as he spoke into her ear “ugh, don’t hold your breath” she responded and with quick wit, she lifted her leg and plunged the heal of her boot into his knee cap. A howl of pain escaped the man’s throat before a second kick to the chest knocked him to the ground. The two men at the end of the alleyway began towards her, but she threw herself to the ground, tucking her head under and rolling between the two, popping up again just on the other side of them, a grin spread on her face, holding up a small bag of jingling coins “sorry, can’t stay, great talk though…” she added as she slipped out of the alley and disappeared. Both men paused for only a second, to check for their money purse and one shouted in aggrevation “hey! Bring that back!”

They began to give chase, but the man picking himself back up off the ground shouted “let her go! You won’t be able to catch her on foot…” stepping out of the alley and glancing skyward “I will find you again…” he promised to the night’s air.

May had, in fact, scaled the nearest building and watched for a moment before slipping away “not if I can help it…” she responded quietly. Her movements were quick as she made herself across the rooftops, expertly climbing over obsticles and flinging herself off of buildings, only to confindently catch herself on the next building. With ease she moved across the city until she landed atop the familiar home that she lived. Of course, she had called it home, somewhat begrudgingly. She stood and cast a glance towards the pier in the distance, the sea, her true home. She missed her life of adventure, she couldn’t really remember why she had chosen to settle down in first place. Slipping her hand into the pocket inside her cloak, she pulled out the single apple she had just stolen. She stared at it for a moment before sighing, was this what she had been reduced to? An apple thief? With a loud crunch, she bit into the apple before tossing it off the roof. She stood there, chewing, before a thought crossed her mind, no, not a thought, an idea… A wonderful idea!

In an instant, she slid down to the edge of the roof, grabbing the ledge with her hand and swinging underneath. Using her free hand to grab the drain pipe. She slid down a few feet before stretching her body to the left where a window for an upstairs room was. Holding tight to the pipe with her legs she grabbed one of her daggers and slipped it between the wooden window pannels and carefully raised the lock that hooked the windows closed. She only just managed to slip it open before she pulled herself in. Her thighs muscles were throbbing from that particular feat, and she took a solid moment to stretch before she began moving around the room. The large two story house that she shared with her husband had many rooms, but this room was one that her husband had never been allowed in. She often questioned his judgement, as he never asked why, he simply obeyed her wishes… He was a fool. The room held a majority of her dearest treasures and riches “gathered” from her adventures at sea. It also housed a few rare or priceless items she may have procured since returning to her simple life. In a few moments, the room had been emptied, as much as it could be. Bigger items were going to have to remain behind, for now.

May was about to exit through the window, when a thought struck her, and her attention turned, instead, to the door. Biting into her bottom lip, she hesiated, before slipping her bag off her shoulder to the ground. She crossed the room in a few gentle movements, taking care not to step on anything that might make the floor creak, alerting the man downstairs. She opened the door and slipped into the hallway, moving as stealthily as possible towards the door at the end of the hall before entering.

Once inside she began moving quickly again, she flattened herself and crawled beneath the large bed in the middle of the room. It took her a minute, but she managed to find the loose floorboard. Inside was an envelope full of money, and a small bag of gemstones. There was also a gun, but May didn’t know how to fire it and she knew that she would do better with her knives. She shoved the loot into her cloak pocket before pulling herself back from under the bed. “What are you doing?” came a voice from behind her. She froze, her heart racing before she slowly turned to face her husband “oh I uh… um… I was looking for something” she told him. The man, who had more trust than sense, smiled warmly “oh, do you need help?” he asked, stepping towards the bed “no!” May snapped, moving decidedly between him and the bed, before composing herself “I mean, no… I found it already, it’s okay… You should go get something to eat” she prompted, with a half-hearted smile. He took another step forward, placed a hand on her chin and leaned in to kiss her softly on the lips “okay” he said simply, turning towards the door. Pausing with his hand on the knob, he glanced back “aren’t you coming?” he asked. She managed a smile in return “of course, I’ll be there in a minute” she told him. This seemed good enough as the man turned and left.

May stood there for a moment, thinking about what she had just done. Her eyes filtered across the room, and trained on the single portrait, hanging on the wall. It was the two of them, at their wedding. They both looked so happy, the smile on her face at the time had been genuine, the blushing bride. Her husband, he still seemed that genuinely happy. She couldn’t simply abandon him, could she?

Slipping out of the window, now burdened with far more of her belongings, she slid as carefully as she could down the pipe. Once her feet were on the ground, she slunk lower to the ground and moved as quickly and quietly as she could away, in the direction of the ocean. Within an hour, she had bribed a crew for passage as they were sailing out of the harbor, some of her finest sweet talk and was on her way back to the life she remembered.

Quotes 8/26

Quotes 8/26/18

Bentley – Foy will be here soon
Cid – Yeah with a loaf of bread
Evee – No… He always brings meat sticks to share. So you get a meat stick and you get a meat stick and you get a meat stick
Bentley – Its a meat stick and greet
Bentley and Evee – Eww…

Foy – So… Captain anne… Got married to William McCloud…
Burke – No…
Cid – And all I got from that is you’re boring…

Cid – His name is NewChow
Burke -cAs opposed to OldChow?
Cid – Yes
Burke – Purina NewChow

Bentley – If you put up any resistance you wind up dead
Foy – Sounds like a marriage to me…

Bentley – They’re sending a long boat
Evee – … I’m sorry but I swear I heard you say a Wong boat…
Bentley – Yeah… What’s Wong with that?..

Burke – It’s your turn pineapple man
Evee – It’s Gronk Jr
Burke – Did you just punch him?
Cid – Yeah
Bentley – More like Wong Jr… He’s Jr Wong

Bentley – He’s gonna hit you with his ball
Cid – Eww.. Poor thing
Burke – Now it’s McClouds turn
Evee – Now he’s gonna hit you with his balls
Bentley – Oh no! He doesn’t want that

Victory in the Flotsam Sea
Trifecta sauce - the sweet taste of success!


Quote of the game:
KJ/Risa: what if you wind up hating your kilt McCloud, it’s made of material.
Evee/May: then you’d never wear it
Foy/McCloud: no, I’d never wear any clothes
Evee/May: you’d be a Scottish nudist
(Whole crew shivers)

They did it! With great bravery and determination, our fearless crew defeated the Sea Hags and saved Caribdus!

Congratulations to our heroes and players to completing an epic and fun campaign!

What happens next? Meet us out West and ride on to find out!

Quotes 6-12-16

Dan/Sarratos: we’ve got whatever that awful Kraken thing is (in reference to the whistle)
KJ/Risa: hey!
Dan/Sarratos: no, not you!

Dan/Sarratos: he swims faster than he runs (talking about Gronk)
Burke/Anne: well that’s not hard! He runs like a toddler!

KJ/Risa: Just don’t serve any squid like products (in response to Duckworth’s attempt at hospitality)

Burke/Anne: Duckworth isn’t exactly smart… He’s English
Evee/May: says the French woman

Dan/Sarratos: want to field test the Gronkapult?

KJ/Rosa: what if you wind up hating your kilt McCloud, it’s made of material.
Evee/May: then you’d never wear it
Foy/McCloud: no, I’d never wear any clothes
Evee/May: you’d be a Scottish nudist
(Whole crew shivers)

(Upon Kraken Jack suggestion of using his shell horn, an onslaught of taunts come from Anne)
Burke/Anne: yes, you’re an expert at blowing your horn.
Burke/Anne: he’s Kraken Jack, shell blower.
Burke/Anne: no! Kraken Jack conch blower!
(Crew roars in laughter)
KJ/Risa: stop making jokes at my expense!

Foy/McCloud: McCloud knows how to repair junk
Burke/Anne: yeah, he’s repaired his own several times (she says while lifting his kilt teasingly)

Quotes 6-5-16

Burke/Anne – (to May) roll for wood
Evee/May – because that’s my specialty?

Evee/May – so Jack’s turning into a parasite?

Burke/Anne – (to Bentley and slightly mumbled) I can do fencing
Evee/May – (looking concerned) you can do frenching?
Burke/Anne – fencing, clean out your ears

Bentley – (npc in regards to Kraken Jack’s sex) Sir… Madam? (Looking confused) I’m not really sure which..

Kraken Jack – I hope it doesn’t start too early, I’m not a morning person (talking about the tournament)
Bentley – you’re not a person at all..

Evee/May – (upon showing her knives to prove her innocence) see all here and no blood… Er… No fresh blood.

Burke/Anne – (referring to a French man) I can talk to him
Evee/May – oh… That’s what you meant by frenching
Kraken Jack – and can get any information with that

Quotes are up, sorry about late posting again guys!

Murder in Jomba Town


Quote of the week:
Foy/McCloud – “You always have to ruin a cool moment.”
Burke/Anne – … “That wasn’t a cool moment”

After a brief ride on a sea turtle, our crew solved the murder mystery of Ian O’Connel in Jomba Town, laying the town’s namesake spirit to eternal rest. They even had a festival named to honor their ship the Poseidon. Are Captain Anne and crew ready to now take on the Sea Hags? Sail on to find out!


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